Dragonfly Photography

Living In America…

So I have been back for almost two weeks now. I’m still trying to get adjusted to life here. Kind of strange, since I did have bouts of homesickness when I was in Haydom. But I guess when you sit on your own couch with all the comforts around you, there is plenty of time to think about things. And going back to work here is another story. Besides the fact that I am really happy to have anything and everything available to do my job, I have a very hard time with other things. Like my first day back… I walked into the ER and encountered one of our very frequent patients, a poor soul that is addicted to crack cocaine, has no kidney function left so she is on dialysis.She smokes crack, then can’t breathe and calls 911. She has I think at least 5000 lives left because anybody else would have been dead a long time ago the way she lives. But anyway, I walk in and see her walking in the hallway, only wearing a t-shirt, oxygen mask on her forehead and IV fluid bag on her shoulder. Welcome home…

Then I am yelled at by family members on the phone because I did not want to take down each family member’s phone number to call them back individually. When I explained that I did have one phone number and would update that person, I was told that this was ridiculous and this person could not understand why I could not do this. Even after explaining the unit was busy and we were short staffed. I then invited the family member to come and work with me for a day and then maybe she would understand… Maybe not the best thing to say, but I just do not like being yelled at…. Although now I was yelled at even more…..And I have to admit that my compassion for little complaints is not at a high level right now. So maybe it is time for another job.. However, this past weekend I did discovered that when my patients are really ill, my compassion comes back very quickly. So at least I have not become nurse Ratchett just yet. So there is hope.

But I do miss the simple smiling as a thank you. The friendly faces, the laughing out loud when trying to speak my few Swahili words, the simple things. And yes, I know it is not ideal and it is easy to idolize when you sit on your couch at home. Food and good coffee readily available, a washer that does your laundry. A shower you turn on and water at a nice temperature actually comes out. Grocery stores around the corner with more stuff that you will ever need. So I know that this is not really a good comparison. But I do feel I did make a difference when I was in Haydom. More that I do here.

So I will go back. Not really sure when and for how long, but this is not the end of my story….